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I’ve entered the state of a walking zombie. While this may sound cool, it’s not. Zombies don’t get any work done and their personalities don’t exactly sparkle. The problem is someone stole my sleep. “And all that’s best of dark and bright’, Mr. Gordon, will so quickly drive you crazy.

So I drink double-bagged chamomile tea and cut caffeine which produced a nice air of crankiness to go with the solid undertone of crankiness. It’s not the tea’s fault, we just need to try harder to work out the energy like you do with a kitten in his crazy hour.

1am exercise is a terrible idea. You think you’ll just do some stretches to relax, but as soon as you think that you forget and loose count of arm curls. Exercise gets the  heart pumping and confuses the brain and a brain without sleep is easily confused.

Also, don’t try to be productive. Sending emails in the middle of the night is always a bad idea. You will make everyone else either look bad or just think you’re a crazy person workaholic, which seriously undermines the desire to lay low. Attempting anything creative is inhumane.

Police sirens are unhelpful, but the nice lady on the other end of 311 says this isn’t a noise you can register a complaint over. Nor is there any way to do anything about cars racing to the red light down the block thinking ‘I gotta get to Starbucks’ even though none are open for another two hours because it’s already almost dawn. Tempted to create a giant speed bump…

But really I just want my sleep back. I quit you, bed.

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