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I promised myself there would be something dark and bittersweet at the end of my run and that was enough to get myself out the door. Though today was supposed to be a rest day, my mind really really wanted to run through the snowy paths again. I used to look forward to rest days, but more and more running is becoming a highlight of my day. It’s hard to take a day off.

On rest days I usually read a bit of a running book, right now I’m loving Running With The Mind of Meditation by Sakyong Mipham. I’ll review this book when I’m done, but that’ll be a while because it’s the kind to read slowly. His techniques for meditative running are helping me bring more spontaneity and openness to each go, which was sorely lacking considering I mostly run in the same park.

There’s a good deal of overlap between running and meditation, so I’m surprised there aren’t more books with this focus. When I first starting, I completely zoned out and relied heavily on music with a lot of base. As a result the exercise always felt shallow and exhausting. There was no joy for me until I started making a conscious effort to not think about anything negative while running. From there, it’s not a far leap to not thinking about anything at all and that’s a good thing. The mind needs silence.

But I still have a long way to go before giving my inner worry wart the boot and finding that place I admire so much in others. For instance, since the massive breach of financial information over the holiday season, I’ve monitored my accounts every day. I’m wondering if I can just ask my bank for a new card. Anyway, today I spotted a transaction I didn’t authorize. So of course I panicked and called the bank. Adrenaline started pumping and I was ready for a ‘where’s my money’ fight.

Luckily the fellow on the phone was super nice and way more observant than I. Turns out the transaction was a credit not a debit, a refund for a cancelled policy. In my defense, this was klutz insurance that took me two years to cancel because their retention peeps are very tricky. The last call went something like this:

Dude: Why do you want to cancel?

Me: Because I want to.

Dude: That is not a good enough reason. [Reverts to script. Proceeds to read through all the benefits and how likely it is that I may actually step in front of a bus] … and so I will be happy to keep your account active. Good bye.

Hope I’m not tempting fate. Last night I did have a dream where Benedict Cumberbatch killed me with lightning, and I didn’t mind because he’s Benedict Cumberbatch and maybe the lightning was just his way of saying how much he likes me. Pretty sure celebrity thrown lightning is not included in klutz insurance anyway.

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